The non-guitarist of the day is Guitar Center girl

So I walk into my local Queens Guitar Center because I'm looking for a new bridge for my telecaster. I ask the Latina (proud of my peeps) guitar girl in the accessories department, and she brings out an aluminum slide. Since I sometimes mumble, I assume my words are unintelligible, and I again ask for a bridge for my telecaster, at which point she brings me a nut for an acoustic steel string guitar. Now I understand, so I take one of those heavy metal death-inspired guitars and show her what part of a guitar is the bridge. I don't see a light turn on, but I'm just looking for my bridge, and figure now I'll find one.  Has anybody seen a bridge? All of a sudden she is not talking to me and walking around behind the counter aimlessly, and I wonder what is going on. I say, "what about the bridge for my telecaster?." She says "telecaster?", and I say "Fender" telecaster. But this is already too much information and her vacant eyes drift off into the clouds. I imagine that her piercings can actually be melted into a bridge for my "Fender" telecaster. I show her a "Fender telecaster" so she can learn, but she is not in a learning mood. Guitar girl says, "I don't think we have that." Twenty seconds of silence. I say, "sister, I'm trying to buy something from you, throw me a bone here!" She doesn't know how to look it up and finally another "sales representative" is called and she looks it up--wouldn't you know it - no telecaster bridges - guitar girl was right: mea culpa. It serves me right for playing such an esoteric instrument - the longest-running electric guitar model in production, in history.  Oh, well.  I decide to pick up a Tube Screamer I spy behind the counter. Things are going smoothly. Guitar girl rings it up without any problemas. She asks if I want to buy Guitar Center insurance for it. I say no. Guitar girl says stone-faced, "it (the Tube Screamer) sounds better if you buy the insurance." I guess I must look like a total idiot.  I say no, but thank her for looking out for my sonic health. I've been dazed and confused for so long it's true. I wanted a woman--never bargained for you.

Sentient beings are numberless. I vow to save them.

Cristian